Make sure you do your 'Zatopeks': translating Bobby

Every week we in the "magical Milers" sub-5-minute group get a schedule from our esteemed leader, Bobby McGee. Having written thousands of these things, Bobby has developed a system of abbreviations for specific workouts. He also has a policy of "continual improvements" -- yes, which means he keeps generating new ones. This is sometimes hard for us to follow. It makes it impossible for anyone else to know what the heck we are doing.

On the occasion of his anniversary of 25 years of coaching, I realised that in years to come, Bobby will be one of those coaches whose methods are analysed to death. You’ll find all sorts of runners and triathletes coming out of the woodwork claiming to have trained with him. There’ll be talk of 100-mile weeks and sessions of 40 x 400m in 60secs. So, for the record, I thought I ought to record an actual schedule Bobby gave me -- in this case the one I used when I first started with him. Don’t let anyone tell you different – this is what we really do.

* First, how the schedule typically arrives in Bobbyspeak, then the translation.

Monday: Pharaohs x 6, vary GW.
Tuesday: PRF 5:00, PU 3-5, last min FO. DUI 20x50, EZ rising, imminent; W90s, sub QF. 2 x T, 1xSB. R.
Wednesday: HR TT to IBS, CNN 40.
Thursday: PU 15-30, stay Friday: WW. SBs @ .75.
Saturday: VHF 2. SUV
Sunday: LRDG 90:00, WC

* Actually, to be honest, I still have no idea what some of the abbreviations mean, so I take full responsibility for maybe doing the wrong thing…

Translation...

Monday: Must be done in deep sand. 6 sets of – (15sec stride at about 3km race pace, Gasp and Wheeze 60sec to recover; 30sec at about 5km race effort, GW; 45sec at 10k pace. Lie on track, have cup of tea.)

Tuesday: Two cups of tea and a Sticky Bun, full-out. Do 50m strides until sick. Repeat.

Wednesday: Meet at track. Arrive late. See how long it takes to find your heart rate monitor. Return home for strap. Repeat until irritated. Warm-up so long it gets dark, cold and miserable. Practise moaning and thinking up excuses. Repeat 10 times “I’ve had worse, it’s only a flesh wound”.

Thursday: 4 sessions today – the infamous “Zatopeks”, which can be highly dangerous. It is essential to schedule 15-minute tea breaks before each outing. For best results do at a track. Each session: run at a steady pace until caught by a faster runner. When HR at max, move alongside and ask, “Is this fast enough?”

(Track nut's historical note: 1952 Olympics, Helsinki. Czech runner Emil Zatopek has won the 5,000 metres and thr 10,000 metres on the track. At the last minute he is entered in the marathon -- it will his first ever, and is run 3 days after his 10k victory. At 18k, Zatopek asks race favourite Jim Peters whether the pace is good enough. The Brit replied it was too slow. Zatopek left him for dead and became the first man before or since to win the Olynpic long-distance triple.)

Friday: “Welease Woger!” aka Sofa Repeats. Stay on Sofa as long as possible. Keep heart rate under 100 at all times. Eat Sticky Buns to 75% of capacity. Repeat until tiredness overwhelms.

Saturday: Race or Very Hard Fartlek. Traditionally 2 x 45:00 with tea-break. Find nearest soccer pitch where game is being played. Alternate sprinting and jogging according to referee’s whistle.

Sunday: Go out and get lost, preferably in a wilderness area containing large wild animals. As soon as you are lost, try to get home in 90 minutes. (LRDG = Long Range Desert Group, the forerunners of the British SAS and experts at getting lost -- albeit usually in the desert at night and behind enemy lines.)

As a final core recommendation, a maxim of Bobby's is "It is better to be under-trained than over-trained". I take this seriously. When in doubt, lie on the sofa and drink more tea.